Hi everyone? How's the new year and all the "new me" things? I hope it runs well with you guys.
Here I am again, talking about the same thing. Trust.
- Wait a sec! I thought we had discussed about it before... a long time ago...
Sorry my fellow friends... but things never all the sun and the shine... sometimes the gloomy grey days coming unexpected and definitely unwelcome.
Honestly, I don't understand what actually happening with my life right now.
There are not a single time I can be happy. Not that there are bad things happening around me, but I am currently undergoing metamorphosis. Everyone knows, it is never easy.
Now, I am learning not to give a damn care of how people think about me. Learning, I emphasize again...
Oh! I am also closing myself from my surrounding, in some extent, like a metapod. I built a hard, shiny, impenetrable shell around me. Being wronged is painful, and doing a wrong thing as hurtful as it is.
I know, we as a human, is an interactive creature. We have this complex social needs and contexts that distinguished us from other low-life creatures. This could be due to the complexity of the human's brain itself. In a simple way, some of us tend to think too much.
I had this obsession of how people hate me very much, that as a defence, I closed any mean of contacts. I avoid myself from talking to them, had to have anything to do with them. Definitely, it is against the human's nature itself as an interactive creature. But again, the greatest weapon against you, is yourself.
I don't know, whether this is a mental illness or an attention-seeking behaviour. Let me tell you, I would be really glad if I could think normally like others. It is up to you guys, if you want to judge me. I am learning to not give a damn care.
Before this, if someone broke my trust, I definitely not thinking of second chance. But if it had happened twice, I saw the relationship (any kind) as a tumour that had to be removed. I might as well experience the effects of the "chemotherapy" or "radiotherapy" or "surgery"or whatever... I had to endure it, if and only if I want to survive.
What's the meaning of surviving if you don't have the quality of life that you hope for?
That's one thing I am thinking at the moment... For now, I don't have answer for it.
P/S: If you want to justify my actions, it is up to you. Your brain, yours la... I don't have the power to control people's minds... at least, not yet.... hahahaha
